


Sanctuary

by sigurfox



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alliterative Poetry, Blasphemy, Guilt, Love, M/M, POV First Person, POV Mairon, Poetry, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 10:19:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13785426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sigurfox/pseuds/sigurfox
Summary: Something Mairon would never confess to Melkor.





	Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Morgause1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgause1/gifts).



> No particular occasion, i decided to gift it to you just because i suddenly wanted to.  
> But also thank you for your love and support. :’)
> 
> ***  
> The poem is a torrent of Mairon’s thoughts, both “He” and “Thou” are addressing to Melkor.

This time I thought I would be fairly free.

But bending to a brand new strict decree

In hapless hopes delusional I delve

This time to keep me solely for myself.

The agony that governs me aggrieves

His most aggressive game that ever since  

I left the lovely Almaren he plays.

All erstwhile carelessness lost in a maze

Of thine immodesty, the dreams amidst:

Thou art too stoutly in me interwreathed.

 

Yes, nothing’s progressing as I have planned.

And now thou makest me want to unhand

Myself for benefit of thy designs.

My feelings He to golden cage confines:

Sufficient sacrifice, but groveling, grave.

I love Him love Him LOVE, or do I crave

The alteration of my will that yet unspent

May turn into my tyrant’s monument.

A tomb to matters of the mortal heart,

A step onto the road to pry apart

 

The void’s indifference in clarity.

His presence is a singularity,

Egregious will to what we gravitate.

He offers me a strangest twist of fate:

To match His touch and learn a wilder weald,

To shatter shining mind’s enshrouded shield.

A well placed pattern settles in with ease,

A slice of ice inside the signal is

A foreign fancy to foreswear my oath,

Another item on a list of loathe.

Forgive me, former mentor, one last time…

To His my soul clicks like a word to rhyme.

 

His gestures draw a sigil growing deep

To sing my soul back from the searing sleep.

Thou dost from dormant years of yore emerge

To nurture northern yearning for a surge,

Vibration of my existential string,

My worldline, wrought now weighty, glowering.

                           

I love the scything circles of the world,

For they no particle possess that’s not

Been blessed with thine alignment: it’s uncured.

Entire Ea now methinks is mured,

Besmirched as I am, and it’s good, I’m glad

To stand astute and strong by sorcerous staves  

Against the forest of the glowing glaves

Of my once brethren, bold to bare a blade

Athwart those thickets, in a ruthless rhythm

Smite off by hymns of His unholy schism.

 

Thy stalwart servant I’ll forever be.

But even when with wolfish fervency

I do my duty, do my art unleash,

Thou knowest well my solitary wish.

O sovereign, save me splinters of my pride,

My wholesome wealth. If only I could hide,

Hide in the soothing smoke of Him just once,

In shade, cast by His alien sheering stance.

Obscured I still would seek a solace in

Daydreaming of prosperity serene.

Emotion morbid, the forbidden need,

A sanctuary scorned and infinite.


End file.
